How to Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men

A Woman’s Guide: How to Get Laid in a Relationship

How to Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men

Photo: CLASSICSTOCK/Everett Collection

Finding a boyfriend (partner, special friend, whatever) whom you actually involves a lot of hard work and some advanced algorthims a little serendipity.

But what happens when your significant other isn’t in the mood to have sex with you? And it does happen, GQ’s Siobhan Rosen reports, even to women.

In fact, Rosen explains, a man’s rebuff stings extra hard because we’ve been conditioned to believe that “all men are Wile E. Coyote-level schemers trying to get laid.

” That makes modern woman the Road Runner of this metaphor, but she’s way slower, because these fuck-me boots render her immobile, and instead of saying “meep meep,” she tells you she’d to have sex with you. And Wile E. doesn’t implode under the weight of his own gratitude? You can imagine what this does to the self-esteem.

No one s rejection. But men have had millennia of sexual entitlement during which to invent the tools to brush it off, porn and the concept of the “friendzone.” For women, every refusal shakes the rickety feminist scaffolding that allows us to vocalize our desire to have sex in the first place.

“There are only so many times even the most brazen among us are going to get rejected before icily retreating into non-initiation mode forever,” Rosen writes. Worse, because we’re so accustomed to playing defense, we don’t exactly have the longest seduction playbook to get us sexless standoffs.

(If we did, we probably wouldn’t have come up with stuff vajazzling.

) In the name of starting somewhere, the Cut scoured the news, past relationships, Kardashianships, and our collective memory of Sex and the City to provide a handful of Dos and Don’ts for getting your significant other to have sex with you.

DON’T go to work. According to the Cut’s informal survey, the No. 1 reason people are not having sex is work-related stress. Have you considered getting him fired recently?

DO work FOR him.

Assuming an obsequious position within his professional orbit — be it devoted intern, captivated biographer, or dogged documentarian — is a time-tested way to get your work-obsessed man to have sex with you.

DO eat. If you collate these three lists of aphrodisiac foods, you’d be hard-pressed to get through a meal without consuming at least one. (Wine.)

DON’T forget to remind him he’s lactose intolerant. Or has Celiac disease. Or had a lot to eat already and should maybe slow down. (Why are men forever eating things that make them too sick to have sex with us?)

DO propose doing it somewhere illicit.  the car or a roof. He may be nervous, but it’s working for lots of couples. Don’t take our word for it, it’s been all over the news lately.

DON’T demand oral sex at knife point. It did not work out well for this wife.

DO toss his Propecia. It has been shown to cause low libido and other sexual dysfunction.

(So have antidepressants, of course, but that has much higher backlash potential.) You could fill the bottles with vitamins, or you could just disappear it.

Maybe one of your pillhead friends stole it at his last party.

DON’T mention the Propecia. Insecurity is gender blind, and he can feel you looking at his receding hairline while you’re going at it.

DO install a sex swing. When Samantha met her soul mate on Sex and the City, the promise of a sex swing induced her to get a much-feared HIV test. Could it convince your partner to be your sex partner again? Maybe. Maybe the mere sight of it will scare him into having normal sex with you.

DON’T install your own sex swing. Unless you need an adorably farcical subplot on your family’s reality-television show. When Khloe Kardashian got in her swing it nearly pulled her ceiling down.

And it’s hard to be sexy when you feel construction-incompetent.

DO casually note how long it’s been since you had sex.

For the competitive couple, the mere suggestion that the you might be the more libidinous one will yield some creative overcompensation.

DON’T casually note how long it’s been since you had sex. Sorry. The Cut was divided on this one. Your passive-aggressive scolding will only increase his boner-killing feelings of inadequacy.

All right, break.



A Woman’s Guide: Getting Laid in a Relationship


The First Few Minutes of Conversation With a Woman

How to Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men

If you can’t get past the first few minutes of conversation with a woman, you will rarely get the chance to kiss, have sex or begin a relationship.

The longer you can talk to a woman, the more opportunity you have to build up her attraction and desire for you. This is important because, un men who are willing to have sex with women purely her looks, most women need to have their attraction built up what the guy is saying and doing during the interaction.

Don’t Worry About Trying to Come Up With a Perfect Opening Line

What’s most important is whether or not your behavior, vibe, body language and personality is attractive to the woman.

For example: If a nervous guy approaches a woman with a great conversation starter , “Hey, I thought I’d come over and say hi” the woman isn’t going to be as interested as she would be if he was confident, relaxed and easy going.

Since most men have never been taught how to attract women during an interaction, a lot of them mistakenly assume that the opening line is the most important part.

Some guys hope that if the opening line is good enough, the woman will be magically charmed and the rest of the pick-up will be as easy as pie. Yet, as you may have experienced in your life, most women don’t give men a free pass unless the woman is extremely drunk, unattractive or desperate for some attention.

Most women have standards, so if you don’t know how to make her feel attracted, she simply won’t be interested in you no matter what you say. However, when you make a woman feel sexually attracted to you, she then starts to appreciate the other things about you (e.g. you’re a good guy, you have good intentions, you’re charming, etc).

She opens herself up the conversation and interaction and actually wants something to happen between you. This is why it’s so important that you know how to attract women. If you don’t know how to attract women, improving your conversation skills isn’t really going to change the results you’ve been getting.

Watch this video to understand why…

What Do You Say Next?

To keep a conversation going with a woman, you need to trust your gut instinct and say whatever comes to mind.

If you freeze up and start thinking too much about what to say, you will be using up valuable mental space in your brain. Instead of being your normal, cool self, you will begin to shut down and become the more nervous, unsure version of yourself.

Women don’t want to meet the unsure, nervous version of you. They want you to believe in yourself and believe that you’re good enough. If you can’t do that while interacting with her, she will rapidly lose interest because women are turned off by insecurity.

Are Your Friends Bringing You Down?

Many guys don’t have any supportive friends to encourage them as they make approaches and improve their skills with women. Instead, most guys have friends who tease them and make them feel even more insecure by providing incorrect advice (e.g. that women don’t want to be approached, women only want bad boys, etc).

Personally speaking, back when I was hopeless with women and only had one friend, he would say to me, “Don’t worry, Dan…they’re all stuck up bitches. They wouldn’t know a good guy if they met one. You can’t win with these chicks. Let’s just go get a coffee and grab something to eat.”

No matter how much I tried to convince him to stay at the bar or club and try to approach, he would just say that women are stuck up and think they are too good for us.

He was wrong.

It was HIM who thought that he wasn’t good enough.

What both of us didn’t know back then was that women don’t want guys to feel they’re not good enough. They HOPE that a guy has the balls to approach them and believe in himself, especially when she plays hard to get to test his confidence.

Yet, I had no-one around to tell me that. All I had was one friend who was insecure and believed that women were impossible to pick up.

As you might imagine, my friend’s horrible advice messed with my confidence and self-esteem. I believed him because he was a guy that I looked up to. Thanks to him, I began to develop a perception of women as being nasty, mean and superficial and assumed they only wanted bad boys, models, rich guys or guys with big muscles and flashy cars.

So, when I wanted to walk up and talk to a woman, it was only natural that I felt anxious and nervous. I assumed that I wasn’t good looking enough, so I approached with the expectation that women wouldn’t really be that interested.

When women saw that I doubted myself, it turned them off and they rejected me. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know why I was failing. Eventually, I discovered the reason why and the solution to fix it…

Are You Sick of Being on Your Own?

After experiencing many rejections for reasons that he doesn’t understand, a guy will usually get to the point where he thinks, “What’s the point in even trying? I walk up to them, try to get a conversation going and they just brush me off. They don’t even give me a chance.”

It all seems too difficult and makes a guy feel he doesn’t deserve to be successful with women. After a while, guys that often into fade into the background. If he goes to a bar or club for example, he will just sit back or stand around watching everyone else talking and having a great time.

Some guys also go to bars or clubs and “fall in love” with a woman they are observing. He will stare at her, try to think of something amazing to say and have a few more drinks to build up the courage to approach her. Yet, he will rarely if ever approach.

Eventually, he will look on in despair as “his woman” leaves with a confident guy who approached, got her interested and then took it to the next level.

If you are sick of being on your own and would rather have loads of women in your life, then decide to take the next step now…

Free video reveals how ordinary guys get laid or get a girlfriend by using a simple approach that works instantly on all kinds of women…

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The Ultimate Guide to Albanian Women

How to Get Laid: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men

Before I went to Albania, all I could find about it is that Albania was a communist country with poor infrastructure and bunkers. Oh, and let’s not forget the criminal picture that follows Albanian people in movies. Drugs, human trafficking etc. Even the antagonists in the movie “Taken”, were Albanians.

But this country that is located north of Greece and just 72 km (45 miles) from Italy (across the Strait of Otranto) is beautiful and special. Albania is untouched by mass tourism. Everything is cheap. Just other Balkan countries, Albania is home to some of the most impressive natural wonders and environments in the world. It has beautiful beaches and crystal clear waters.

But the best thing this country offers to people coming from the west is their Albanian women.

2. Physical characteristics

Albanian girls have Mediterranean looks with a strong Turkic influence. You can find blonde women from time to time but olive skinned and dark hair is basically what you get. They are a bit shorter than Serbian women but not too short.

There is just something mysterious and sexy about their brown eyes, dark hair and curvy figures. Their hips don’t lie.
I also noticed that there are no fatties. It’s very rare to find a fat woman in Albania.

Most of the Albanian women are skinny with medium sized breasts.

3. Differences within Albanian people

There is a tremendous difference in mentality within the Albanian people. For example, people in cities are far more westernized than people in villages. People in villages are very, very traditional and they have some weird rules. They don’t let their women go out without a man.

I even heard about “Gjakmarrja” which refers to the social obligation to kill in order to revenge someone in your family who is killed or even morally humiliated. In the past, the father of the husband who died in the war had the right to take the wife. But those things are very rare today, I just want to present you how Albanians lived in communism.

And things have changed a lot since then. At least in cities.

Another difference with Albanians is when I compared the Albanians in Albania and in Macedonia (FYROM) or southern Serbian province (partly recognized as a state itself) “Kosovo and Metochia”.

Albanian girls in neighborhood countries are a little bit taller but darker. They also love foreigners, especially if you are from the US.

But ethnic Albanians in those countries are far more traditional and nationalist (nationalist towards mostly Slavs, not foreigners).

4. English

The only people that that know English are young people in cities. Even among them, you will have difficulties. But most women in Tirana have a decent grasp of it. Some older people know Italian. There are also a lot of girls that have cousins in Switzerland, Austria or Italy so they know German or Italian.

5. Muslim country

Even though the majority of Albanians are Muslims, this is largely a matter of national identity. Most people here are not religious, and you can drink and buy alcohol in every store. I would never have guessed that 60-80% of the population were Muslim. The only thing where you will feel the Islam presence is from a weak call to prayer in the afternoon.

6. Night game awful

The dynamics at night clubs in Tirana is confusing. Everyone is sitting down in groups with their social circle. I heard that Albanians don’t approach at places this (TAO nightclub).

They say that you need to befriend the guy first and get him to introduce you with his girlfriends. The night club scene is very weak compared to other countries in South-Eastern Europe.

I suggest you skip it and do the day game as much as you can.

7. Virginity

Albanians are obsessed with virginity. Some of them don’t even want to marry a girl that’s not a virgin. Young Albanians are under the big influence of their parents and tradition. That being the case, there are a lot of virgins in Albania. Of course, you will find fewer virgins in big cities.

8. Past relationships

And how do Albanian girls fight with strict parents and society? How do they express their sexuality and “freedom”? Well, some of them only do anal until they get married and some of them lie. You will hear a lot of “You’re the first guy I’ve talked to” or “I really don’t speak to guys you” lines.

And usually, it’s a lie. This is just their natural way of finding creative ways to overcome the rules of their strict families. So, they’ve learned to keep their sexual secrets for themselves.

If Albanian girls are very good at keeping secrets from their family, so why do you think she is going to be honest with you about those things?

9. How to get Albanian women

Getting laid here is nowhere near easy. If your goal is to get as many women as you can, skip this country. But if you are here already, there are few tips that can help you get laid.

When you game Albanian women from a traditional family, there is one thing you need to know.

If she has a one night stand with you and everyone finds out, she can lose not only her reputation but also her family! Believe it or not, this can actually go in your favor.

First, you need to make her 100% sure that you won’t tell anyone. You need to act everything between you is one big secret. And this game starts from the beginning. When you approach her, make sure no one from her relatives or family sees you, or else she will reject you just because of that.

The key is to treat your relationship it’s forbidden. Because it really is. You might think this can be hard but every girl’s dream is to have something they are forbidden to have. And that might include sex with foreigners as well.

This can be a lot of fun for you also, acting you need to hide from the rest of the world adds a certain sweetness to your relationship. At first, Albanian girls rejected me and I thought it was because they don’t foreigners until I started to treat everything as some secret that no one should know about.

This change in my approach jumped my success rate through the roof. Just remember that you are forbidden and forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

10. Online game

Online game in Albania is surprisingly easy. But only if you know what app to use. Most foreigners try to use Tinder and then say how the Albanian dating scene is very bad. Little do they know that most Albanian women use Badoo.

This app is the holy grail of online game on Balkan. I suggest you pay a few dollars so you can chat to whoever you want or to increase your popularity.

Whatever app you choose, try to be as direct as possible, since girls are very open to meet on Badoo

11. Marriage material

Loyalty is the one thing that characterizes Albanian women. American girls don’t know about this, but loyalty is one of the most important things a man can wish from his wife.

Luckily, Albanian women are loyal to you even when things start getting rough. This is the main difference between them and western chicks.

When you are lost, American women leave you, but an Albanian girl will stick by her man no matter how hard financially things get.

I also noticed that Albanian women will always be on their husband’s side even when she knows he is not right. This is just how they are raised.
Another word that comes to my mind is appreciation.

Give Albanian girl a finger and she won’t take your whole hand an American. Of course, you always have to be careful about red flags but overall, they are raised in a way to respect their husband and have family values.

They appreciate how their significant other can improve their lives, and I’m not talking only about financial security.

12. Albanian women are domesticated

We live in a time where most women are looking to find their beta husband who will pay for her provocative clothes and free her from any work. That’s until they divorce and take half of the things they didn’t earn. This is at least what it’s in the US, where feminism is making it hard to find a family-oriented woman.

But in Albania, families are traditional and it’s almost certain that she is very good at cooking and actually knows how to do laundry well and how to welcome her man after work with a good meal.
Also, it’s very hard to find Albanian woman that don’t do household chores.

When I was speaking to my friends from other Balkan countries who’d married an Albanian woman, they all agreed on one thing: Albanian women fly around the house doing things a good wife is supposed to do. “I don’t even need to ask her to do something, it’s she is reading my mind,” one of them said.

I tend to agree with him.

13. Gossipers

One characteristic of the Albanian community is that it’s full of gossipers. Everyone knows who is dating who and who had sex with who, who is invited or not invited to the next party.

Often, they actually make an effort to get the latest dirt. And nothing discovers gossipers more than social media.

If a girl is looking at her or Instagram all the time, chances are that she is an on the top of the gossip food chain.

If you ignore this red flag, she will see other girls commenting on some photos and ask you all the time about it. The problem with gossipers is that they are obsessed with it. It’s they are competing to destroy other people’s reputation. Being in a relationship with a gossiper is very tiresome. My advice would be to run from a chick that.

14. Jealousy

Albanian girls, just Lebanese women, are very territorial. After a few dates, she will be highly aware if some other girl is looking at you. It can be a pain in the ass after some time.

All this comes from their jealous nature. They don’t even care if they make a scene about it. And it doesn’t have to be your fault at all.

They don’t want to share, which is reasonable, but if their jealousy becomes very hard to deal with, maybe it’s time to next her.

15. Fashion

I have to say that you don’t need to worry about having an Albanian chick by your side. They have a good sense of fashion and know how to present themselves. You will never feel embarrassed by harlot-rescue actions from Albanian woman.