- 7 Major Mistakes Women Make that Push Men Away
- 1. Chasing after him
- QUIZ: Is He Losing Interest In You?
- 3. Being entitled
- 4. Being too needy
- 5. Stressing over the relationship
- 6. Committing too soon
- 7. Being negative
- 13 Behavior Mistakes That Push People Away From You When You First Meet
- 13. Illiteracy
- 12. Sleep deprivation
- 11. Stress
- 10. No hobbies
- 9. “Wrong” smell
- 8. Teeth problems
- 7. Poor manners
- 6. Gothic paleness
- 5. Self-confidence
- 4. Non-heroic appearance
- 3. Laziness
- 2. No friends
- 1. Silly risk
- Avoid These 8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
- Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
- 1. Overanalyzing Everything He Says And Does
- 2. Letting Negativity Rule Your Interactions With Him
- 3. Making Him The Center of Your Emotional Life
- 4. Playing Games And Bringing Drama Into The Relationship
- 5. Expecting Him To Read Your Mind
- 6. Creating A Goal Of “Getting Him To Commit”
- 7. Trying To Keep Him Interested By Waiting On Him Hand And Foot
- 8. Judging Him Or Trying To Change Him
- 8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
- If You Do These 7 Things You’ll Push Your Man Away
- 1. You’re over analyzing everything
- 2. You chase him
- 3. You’re too negative
- 4. You’re trying to change him
- 5. You’re talking about your ex
- 6. You’re putting him on a pedestal
- 7. You’re a drama queen
7 Major Mistakes Women Make that Push Men Away
No one sets out to sabotage their relationship. Most of us have only the best intentions. We want it to work. We think about it, maybe even obsess over it, we put our heart on the line, we invest ourselves. Since our intentions are pure, it seems we should get a positive outcome…but this isn’t always the case.
I get a lot of heat when I write about what women are doing wrong. I get accused of blaming women, of defending men. But I’m doing neither.
My job isn’t to excuse or blame, my job is to share and enlighten. I have spent most of my life studying human behavior and using my insights to help people improve their lives and their relationships.
And a lot of what I learned came through devastating personal experiences, I literally was a classic example of what not to do for a large chunk of time.
So when I talk about mistakes women make, understand that it’s coming from a woman who made all these mistakes and who wishes she had someone who knew better to set her straight! I wish I had come across articles such as this one, it would have spared me a lot of heartache and humiliation, to say the least.
With that, let’s dive in and look at the most common and disastrous mistakes women make that push men away.
1. Chasing after him
The vast majority of the time, if a guy s you, he will let you know. It will be obvious. There won’t be any mixed messages or hidden clues to decipher.
If he s you, he will make it known and he will ask you out. Your only job is to show enough interest to let him know he won’t be shot down. This does not need to be obvious and over the top.
A sweet smile and sultry eye contact will get the job done.
MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away?
If a guy has the opportunity to be with you and he just doesn’t take it, then he just doesn’t you enough.
Rather than just cut their losses, a lot of women go on a quest to convince this guy that he should want to be with her.
She’ll text him funny things, happen to show up places where she knows he’ll be, she’ll initiate conversations, she may even ask him out.
The guy may respond to her advances by being polite, and she may mistake this as him being somewhat interested, but he really doesn’t seem to reciprocate the feelings. He may reply when you reach out, but he never initiates.
MORE: Why He Didn’t Text You Back
If there is any hope of him developing feelings for you, you will effectively kill it by chasing after him.
Maybe this sounds unfair, why can’t you take a proactive approach to your love life and pursue him? Because you just can’t. Because it’s just not how things work.
Because there is no need to pursue a man… if he s you, then he’ll let you know. You can’t undo centuries of societal norms. This is how things have always been and it’s just how they are.
Now I’m not saying guy’s are turned off by bold women, Sometimes it can be sexy when a woman initiates. But after that, she needs to leave it alone and give him some space to pursue her. That is how men bond and develop feelings. That is what causes them to invest.
Whether you’re insole or in a relationship, never, ever chase your guy. If anything, pull back a bit and give him the space to come to you.
QUIZ: Is He Losing Interest In You?
Relationships typically fall apart when your focus stops being on the person you’re with and starts shifting to you. When you focus on your own wants, your own worries, your own fears, your own needs, and pay no attention to how your guy feels and experiences things, you essentially turn him into an object who is a means to an end.
The reason a lot of women can’t keep a guy’s interest beyond a few dates is because she gets so fixated on achieving some sort of relationship goal ( being official), and on figuring out how he feels.
When you do this, you aren’t connecting with him as a person, you are using him as a means to feel good about yourself and worthy of love and that is not the pathway towards a meaningful connection.
The me-centered mindset can cause problems no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, whether you’re casually dating or seriously committed.
Sure, you might do things for him. You might cook for him, clean his house, perform his favorite sexual moves in bed, tell him how much you him, but none of that really penetrates a man’s psychology on a deep and meaningful level.
The reason is because it isn’t genuine, rather, you are doing certain things in order to get him to feel certain things for you, and maybe do certain things for you. But this isn’t what activates a man’s desire to commit and doesn’t make him bond or invest in your further.
What gets you there is getting outside of yourself and really seeing him for who he is.
MORE: When a Guy Withdraws After Sex
3. Being entitled
One of the biggest turn-offs to a man is a woman who acts entitled and just expects him to do things. Now men do love a woman with high standards, but they still want to be appreciated for things, they don’t want a woman who just expects him to do certain things and be a certain way.
If you are a regular ANM reader, you know that men absolutely crave appreciation. That is the essential fuel a man needs to keep going in a relationship.
Appreciation is the key that unlocks a man’s heart. Every man needs it in a relationship in order to truly commit. A woman who acts entitled and ungrateful is probably the most unattractive woman in a man’s eyes.
Appreciation is essential, so much so that a guy will avoid a relationship, or break off a relationship, with a woman who won’t or can’t show him sufficient appreciation. Of course, women also enjoy appreciation, but the need isn’t usually the same.
More than appreciation, most women need to feel adored and cared for. They don’t necessarily need a man to acknowledge everything they do, they just want to feel that he cherishes them and cares and is fully invested in the relationship.
Lack of appreciation is usually the main reason men leave and is a major reason why men cheat.
When you truly see a man for who he is and appreciate him, it opens him up and activates his desire to bond and commit. It has to be genuine, though. You can’t fake your way into someone’s heart and you can’t show him appreciation as a means of getting the relationship you want. Doing this is the me-centered mindset.
Stepping outside of yourself and looking at him and appreciating him for the person he is, not just for the way he makes you feel and what he does for you, is other-focused and that is how a real connection forms.
MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away
4. Being too needy
Usually, when people talk about neediness they talk about a set of behaviors: calling too much, being too available, getting jealous, wanting all of his time and attention, etc. However, neediness goes beyond behavior. It’s a mindset, and from that mindset, certain behaviors can manifest.
Some examples include: constantly needing reassurance that he still cares, panicking if he doesn’t call or text back right away, getting jealous if he spends time with anyone else, making him the sole center of your universe, obsessing over him, feeling terrified he’ll leave you, and so forth.
Neediness usually comes from an emptiness within that we believe somebody else can fill for us. We may come to believe that some other person can give us something emotionally that we can’t give ourselves: a feeling of being OK, of being worthy of love, of feeling good about ourselves. The problem is someone else can’t give us those things; they come from within.
MORE: Why Men Lose Interest
Even though we’re constantly stimulated and more connected than ever thanks to the ubiquity of social media, most people feel more alone than ever and are lacking in real and genuine connections.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a real connection; the problem is placing a vast amount of hope and expectation onto that person.
You expect them to be your happiness, to be your completion, and then you become terrified of losing them, because when you put that spin on it then it does become a scary prospect!
If a relationship is your sole source of joy in this world then you will inevitably cling to it desperately, even though desperation kills relationships.
Desperation smothers the life the love and connection because when a person needs the other person to constantly respond to them in a certain way, they start acting “needy.”
MORE: What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
5. Stressing over the relationship
You can’t force someone to love you or reciprocate certain feelings. If he is not into you right now, then just let it go. Don’t stress over where it all went wrong or what you should have done differently.
Focus on yourself, focus on being a better version of yourself. Focus on being happy and complete. Focus on feeling great about your life and about who you are. This is what really captures a man’s attention.
Not stressing over him and trying to do anything in your power to win him over.
There will always be something to worry about. In the beginning, you might think that as soon as he commits everything will be great and you’ll feel secure but it rarely works that.
Instead, you’ll worry about when he’s going to say he loves you, when you’ll move in together, get engaged, get married, and when you’re married you’ll worry if he still loves you, if he’s still attracted to you, if he’ll cheat … there will always be something!
MORE: How to Tell He’s Losing Interest
Worrying sucks the joy a relationship and creates a tense, uneasy environment. The truth is, 90% of relationship problems wouldn’t exist if women would stop obsessing and analyzing and just go with it. Relationships really aren’t that complicated. The problem is we make them complicated by creating problems that don’t exist and obsessing over how to solve them.
When you stop stressing out and obsessing about your own fears, worries, and nightmare scenarios, something great happens: you give the relationship room to breathe.
MORE: Why Men Disappear
6. Committing too soon
Acting you’re in a relationship will not get you a relationship. He’ll start pulling away even more.
Here is how this scenario usually goes down. Girl meets boy, girl really, really s boy, girl cuts off all other potential suitors and focuses exclusively on boy even though they never decided to be exclusive. Boy tells girl “I our relationship as it is and don’t want to label it” and girl is devastated but stays in the relationship anyway, hoping he’ll change his mind.
Yes, it can be difficult to keep your options open when you find a guy who shines so much brighter than the rest, but you cannot act his girlfriend until you are his girlfriend. Why? Because no guy is going to willingly deepen a level of commitment unless he has to.
MORE: 10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Away
It’s not that guys are anti-monogamy, or don’t want to commit, it just isn’t a man’s natural inclination to want to be tied down.
A man will only commit himself to a woman if he is inspired to and if it has a benefit to him.
If he is getting all the benefits of having a girlfriend without the obligations that come with being in a relationship, then why in the world would he change that situation?
Plus, acting you’re his girlfriend when he has stated otherwise will just make you look desperate and that is a big turnoff to a man and will cause him to withdraw.
If a man knows he is with an incredible woman and senses she will leave if he doesn’t commit in the way she wants, then he’ll commit.
If a man is with an amazing woman but is kind of on the fence about her and senses she’ll leave if he doesn’t commit, then he’ll let her go.
But if this same woman sticks around even though he won’t commit, then he might keep her around indefinitely and that is where the real trouble lies.
MORE: Exactly Why Men Withdraw
7. Being negative
One of the biggest driving needs for a man when it comes to relationships is being able to make a woman happy. If he feels that he can’t, he won’t want to be with her.
No man wants to serve as his woman’s emotional dumping ground, it just adds more stress to his life and men are very drama-averse.
MORE: Why Men Pull Away When They’re Falling in Love
Also, there is nothing lovable about someone who is demanding, nagging, sarcastic, bitter, frustrated, or angry. That’s not to say he’ll stop loving you when you’re this, love doesn’t turn on and off a light switch, but it will be harder for him to act loving towards you when you come at him from this negative place.
Being mad at him for not spending enough time with you doesn’t fill him with a strong desire to be around you because no one s being around someone who is pissed at them or doing things because they were guilted into it.
If you want to have an amazing relationship, then bring an amazing, positive energy into your relationship. That is what will make all the difference.
MORE: What to Do When He Begins to Pull Away
One last thing: If you think you might be pushing the man you want away, then take a look at the following quiz…
Are you committing the cardinal sins that ruin relationships? Take our extremely precise “Are You Destroying Your Love Life?” quiz to find out (and learn how to fix it before it’s too late).
Lots of love,
13 Behavior Mistakes That Push People Away From You When You First Meet
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Why do some people attract others attention and some just spend time all alone? It turns out that it’s not just about our appearance and personal qualities. Some habits literally push us away from a person and we just don’t want to talk to them.
Bright Side loves romantic stories and knows almost everything about finding true love. Today, we’ll tell you about the main reasons that might stop you from being happy and building a strong relationship.
If you haven’t found your love yet, it’s probably time to review some spelling rules. According to a poll conducted on match.
com, an online dating site, 96% of women aren’t interested in chatting with an ignorant person. By the way, men are less strict when it comes to grammar mistakes.
Nevertheless, most respondents are ly to pay more attention to correct spelling, than to a potential partner’s excess weight or self-doubt.
12. Sleep deprivation
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
We should get enough sleep before a date or an important meeting since people who suffer from a lack of sleep look less attractive. It’s not just about our appearance: people unknowingly try to avoid those who look unhealthy.
What’s more, sleep deprivation makes us nervous and grumpy. Scientists claim: it’ll take you a couple of nights without sleep to start pushing people away from you.
But if you get enough rest, people around you will treat you as a reliable and friendly person.
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
In a stressful situation, our body launches a chemical “factory” where the adrenal glands release the hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and prolactin (in women.) A high cortisol level causes you to push potential partners away from you. You don’t even have to see each other in person: just seeing photos of you will reveal that you’re overwhelmed with stress.
10. No hobbies
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
You don’t have to be incredibly beautiful to attract the opposite gender. A study conducted on an online dating site has shown that creative people are as popular as beautiful ones. What does that mean?
- Men prefer women who sports, dancing, traveling, and art.
- Women dream about men who travel, work out, cook, and don’t sleep at the movies.
9. “Wrong” smell
Body odor may play an important role when it comes to a potential long-term relationship. No, it’s not about perfume. The way a person smells depends on the genes that are responsible for their immune system.
Of course, people don’t smell each other when they first meet but we subconsciously choose a person who smells “healthy.
” Women are experts in this realm: they’re able to identify a partner with a “suitable” DNA that will contribute to the health of their children in the future.
8. Teeth problems
Healthy teeth and oral hygiene play a huge part in deciding whether you’re going to have a date or not. Internet users think that teeth issues can push a person away, even if everything else about you attracts them.
7. Poor manners
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
Bad table manners may mean that you won’t have a second chance. People think that noisy eating is one of the most disgusting habits. Answering phone calls and eating from your date’s plate are also blacklisted. Additionally, if you take a person to a fast food restaurant on a date or order dishes with a lot of garlic, you’re ly to fail.
6. Gothic paleness
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
Our skin tone also influences our appearance. Scientists have found out that a yellowish pigment in our skin tone makes us look more attractive. The thing is, melanin and carotenoids responsible for skin coloration are responsible for the immune system as well. People unknowingly look for a healthy partner, which is why pale skin pushes them away.
Here’s some good news: you don’t have to spend hours at the beach to be more attractive. Eat more vegetables and fruits, especially those that contain a large amount of carotenoids carrots, tomatoes, apricots, or mangoes.
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
Women prefer confident men. A grumpy and brutish man attracts more attention than a smiling guy. It’s a fact: girls don’t men that are too happy.
And if a woman is too confident, men usually think that she’s reserved or snobby. If everything in a girl’s image says, “I have really high self-esteem,” a man is unly to ask her out. So a wide smile will definitely attract a gentlemen’s attention.
4. Non-heroic appearance
Small facial scars can really enhance a man’s attractiveness. But as a rule, they attract short-term relationships only — people need other kinds of qualities to build a long-term relationship. But don’t go too far!
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
Active people are more ly to meet a partner. Lazy people are less successful, and it’s not just because they spend a lot of time at home watching TV. It’s all about our psychological mechanisms: ancient peoples didn’t those who preferred to do nothing and thought they were useless. Modern people think the same way.
2. No friends
People who have many friends look more attractive. In a group, a person’s flaws “fade” because they appear more similar to the average group face, which is more attractive than the group members’ individual faces. That’s why even a plain girl can be a queen in the right company.
Psychologists call this phenomenon the cheerleader effect. For example, cheerleaders may be different (beautiful or not) when examined individually. But as a team, they all look gorgeous.
And here’s a piece of good news: you don’t have to have a lot of beautiful friends to look great. One pretty friend is enough to increase your chances.
1. Silly risk
© Depositphotos © Depositphotos
Studies show that women men who take risks, but not silly risks. In other words, extreme sports, bad habits, and dangerous driving won’t attract women. Risks putting out fires or working with dangerous animals turn a man into a hero and a great partner.
Do you agree with these facts? Have you ever made any of these mistakes?
Preview photo credit Depositphotos
Avoid These 8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
You’re here because you want to know the biggest mistakes women make that push men away.
Maybe you had something going with a guy – and then all of a sudden he disappeared on you.
Why? What happened? Did you do something wrong? Why’d he ghost?
If you’re racking your brain trying to figure out why he disappeared – don’t worry. I’m going to give you the biggest mistakes that push men away, so that you can avoid having a guy ghost you the blue.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
more: Why Do Men Pull Away?
Ready? Let’s start.
1. Overanalyzing Everything He Says And Does
When you don’t know how a guy feels about you, and you’re really interested in him, there’s a temptation to try to find ‘clues’ or ‘hints’ in everything he says and does.
After all, you really this guy. You really want him to you.
So you read into every word he texts you and watch him a hawk when you’re with him, trying to figure out how he feels about you (without having to ask him).
more: The Top 3 Reasons Men Withdraw
The problem is, that kind of overanalyzing creates a dynamic between you that feels bad for him to be around and makes him want to ghost you.
It doesn’t feel good to be with someone who’s reading into every word you say. It makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells – one wrong move or wrong word could disappoint the person you’re with and poison the mood.
When he has to watch everything he says and does to avoid upsetting you (and he doesn’t know what will and won’t upset you), it won’t feel good for him to be around you. And feeling good when you’re around someone is the first step towards a more lasting relationship.
So if you’re overanalyzing the things he says and does, you’re poisoning your chances with him – and pushing him away.
2. Letting Negativity Rule Your Interactions With Him
It’s impossible to be positive all the time – occasionally (or more than occasionally) you’re going to be in a bad mood.
But your mood is the most important factor when it comes to a budding relationship with someone new.
Your mood is going to determine how he feels when he’s around you – which is going to determine whether he wants to spend more time with you or not.
more: Why Men Pull Away When They’re Falling In Love
It’s a law about human nature – people want to spend more time with people that make them feel good, and less time with people that make them feel bad.
The thing that controls whether it feels good or bad to spend time with you is your mood. If you’re in a good mood, and happy, relaxed, and comfortable, it feels good to spend time with you. When you’re in a bad mood, well…
The important thing to focus on is trying to be in the best possible mood when you’re with him, or when you’re writing him a text or talking to him on the phone. That way, your positivity will make him feel good, which will make him want to spend more time with you.
The other side of the coin is that negativity will make him want to spend less time with you, and drive him away (just if he was overwhelmingly broody, negative, and in a bad mood, you wouldn’t have as much fun hanging out with him).
more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws
3. Making Him The Center of Your Emotional Life
Relationships are a delicate thing. It makes sense to rely on your partner for emotional support – both people are there to help each other.
But it’s not good to rely on your partner too much. When you make him the center of your emotional life and let yourself depend on him emotionally (where you’re counting on him to put you in a good mood and are in a bad mood if you don’t get what you’re looking for from him), it’s enough to push him away.
That kind of emotional dependence is poison to both men and women at the beginning (and middle, and ends) of relationships.
more: Why Didn’t He Text Back?
The best way to avoid this mistake is to look at a relationship as something you bring happiness into, rather than extract happiness from.
That way, you won’t fall into the trap of depending on him to feel good, which will make him feel he’s being burdened by being responsible for your emotional state and push him away.
4. Playing Games And Bringing Drama Into The Relationship
Guys don’t drama. They don’t complicated.
more: Why Did He Withdraw After Sex?
There’s a temptation to think that you have to make a guy chase after you in order to snag him and keep him interested. 99% of the time, when a woman tries to play that game, it winds up blowing up in her face.
That’s because the way to keep a guy’s interest isn’t to make him jump through hoops or generate drama between you. Guys hate drama – it actively turns them off and makes them want to disengage.
So try to avoid drama and playing games when you’re with someone new – it’s a mistake that will push him away.
more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws
5. Expecting Him To Read Your Mind
This is one of the biggest mistakes women make (all through relationships) that causes men to shut down and not want to engage.
Expecting him to know what’s wrong, or to know why you’re upset without telling him, is a surefire way to get him to disengage emotionally and push you away.
When a woman is honest and upfront with a man, and tells him what he did that bothered her – it’s hugely refreshing for him. It lets him know that she’s more interested in solving the problem than in punishing him for upsetting her, and it lets him know that he’s with someone special.
Making him guess what’s wrong accomplishes the exact opposite of that. It exasperates him, makes him want to move away from you rather than towards you, and pushes him away.
more: The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away
6. Creating A Goal Of “Getting Him To Commit”
Commitment and committed relationships happen when two people really enjoy spending time with each other and realize that they’d rather spend time with each other than with any other potential partner.
The way to get there is to make spending time together feel as good as possible for both of you – which we’ve already talked about. It means being in the best mood you can be in when you’re with him and enjoying the time you spend together by being in the moment with him.
When you make a goal (consciously or unconsciously) to try to get into a more serious relationship with him, all of a sudden you’re not living in the moment with him. You’re looking towards the future and trying to make the future you imagine happen.
more: The Real Reasons Why Men Disappear
That means that you’re not really being present when you’re with him – everything you do is unconsciously slanted towards accomplishing your goal.
And by the same token, everything he does that makes you worried about your goal happening is going to make you upset and ruin the dynamic between you.
So try to avoid having any “goals” about the future of your relationship – just enjoy the time you spend with each other as much as you can and let whatever will happen between you happen. Otherwise, you could wind up unconsciously pushing him away without even realizing it.
more: Why Guys Pull Away After Sex
7. Trying To Keep Him Interested By Waiting On Him Hand And Foot
Here’s a harsh truth about this world: if you don’t respect yourself, other people won’t respect you either.
Respect has to start from within. You can’t get someone else to respect you and treat you with dignity unless you treat yourself with dignity first. Having self-respect demands that other people treat you with respect as well.
Many women (and men) fall into the trap of thinking that if they cater to their partner’s every whim, and do whatever he or she wants, it will make their partner them more and put in more effort.
more: Why Won’t He Call You His Girlfriend?
In fact, it does the opposite. When he sees that you’re willing to do whatever he wants without demanding an equal effort from him, it makes him less ly to put in effort, not more.
People treat things that are given to them for free as having less value, not more. If you fall into the trap of waiting on him hand and foot without any reciprocal effort from him, it pushes him away and makes him less ly to step up and want something more with you.
more: 10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Away
8. Judging Him Or Trying To Change Him
At its heart, a great relationship is all about compatibility.
Compatibility means that each person s the other person for who they truly are – for who they are when they’re being totally genuine.
It’s not as easy as saying “just him for who he is” – you have to actually, genuinely him for who he really is. If you don’t, it will come across unconsciously through your behavior and your reactions.
more: Things That Push Guys Away
The same thing holds true for him – this is a two way street.
So when a woman judges a guy, or shames him for his actions and tries to get him to change, it gives him a huge shove away from her – especially if he was being genuine in that moment.
Obviously, if he does something that upsets you then you should tell him that it did and explain why. But if more and more, when he’s relaxed and being his “genuine” self around you, and you don’t that person – it’s a huge sign that you’re not compatible.
more: 6 Things Women Do That Scare Men Off
Trying to change someone else never works – people are who they are. If you try to change him, all it will accomplish is pushing him further away from you.
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
- Overanalyzing everything he says and does.
- Letting negativity rule your interactions with him.
- Making him the center of your emotional life.
- Playing games and bringing drama into the relationship.
- Expecting him to read your mind.
- Creating a goal of “getting him to commit”.
- Trying to keep him interested by waiting on him hand and foot.
- Judging him or trying to change him.
If You Do These 7 Things You’ll Push Your Man Away
Has it ever happened to you that you met someone and you had a good time, but after a while, he just disappeared? You didn’t have a clue why he stopped answering your texts all of a sudden. You had no idea what was going on since you had such a good time together.
Why did he ghost you?
It’s only natural that we always blame the other one for losing interest all of a sudden. He is a jerk; he is an idiot that isn’t worthy of us. We deserve better. Okay, that is all true, but have you ever looked at things from a different perspective? Have you ever thought that the problem might be you or something you’re unconsciously doing?
Well, as hard as it may be to hear this, yes, sometimes the problem is you and the way you acted around your date. Maybe you came on too strong and you chased him away or maybe you want to date someone so badly that it is too obvious.
No matter what the problem is, check out the list of things that most women do that push men away:
1. You’re over analyzing everything
You him so much that you watch his every move and carefully pay attention to every little thing that he says. This causes you to over analyze. You take his every word and carefully analyze it.
This causes you to obsess over everything he says, trying to find hidden meanings if there are any.
The problem is that this leaves an impact on him and he doesn’t want to be surrounded by people who make him feel that way.
2. You chase him
You chase him instead of letting him chase you. Men to play this game and let’s face it, most women to be chased. It gives you the thrill that you don’t feel later on in a relationship.
If you chase him, he will stop chasing you and you don’t want that. You want him to put an effort to catch you because you are a prize he’s never going to win again in his life.
Find another way to keep him interested because chasing him is the wrong way to go.
See also: If He Wants You, You Won’t Need To Chase Him
3. You’re too negative
Don’t shed a dark light on your relationship and don’t keep asking your boyfriend negative questions. No one wants to be with Ms. Grumpy.
Try to look at things from a positive perspective and nourish the nice things in your relationship and this way, you’ll make him stay and you’ll make him happy. Don’t use negative reinforcement to find out what you are interested in from him. Just ask him straightforwardly.
It’s better to be in an honest relationship with no hidden meaning and lies. Therefore, don’t beat around the bush and ask what you want to know.
4. You’re trying to change him
That’s the biggest mistake you can ever make. Don’t try to change who he is or his habits. If you accepted him for what he is in the beginning, you don’t have the right to ask him to act differently now.
Your acts showed that you’re going to love him for who he is and it’s perfectly normal that he is going to back down if you try to do the opposite.
You can help and encourage him to become better, but don’t try to change his core because that is just not right and it will bother him and chase him away.
5. You’re talking about your ex
Bringing the ex in your new relationship is just not the right thing to do. Imagine how he feels when you compare him to your ex-boyfriend. Imagine what kind of burden that presents to him.
How would you feel if he did that to you? You would probably feel less worthy and his ex-girlfriend would be a huge threat, so you would probably back down.
This is the exact way he feels and this is how you’ll push him away.
6. You’re putting him on a pedestal
You’re making him the center of your life and he doesn’t want that, especially not in the beginning. He can read your love as pure neediness and that will drive him off.
He doesn’t want someone by his side who is super dependent on him. He wants an independent girl who lives her life in harmony with his—a girl who won’t rely on him that much.
Don’t be emotionally dependent because it’s just not attractive and it will push him away.
7. You’re a drama queen
Keep things simple because guys don’t their lives to get complicated. Don’t play games with him and tease him by making yourself hard to get because guys don’t to play those games when they are in a relationship. Drama isn’t the way to go—drama will just push him away.